Category: zomedy

The top 5 things you will NOT FIND in my zombi…

The top 5 things you will NOT FIND in my zombie novel:

1. CORPORATISM: There are no businesses, cooperate superpowers, cooperate lackeys, yes-sir/no-sir, right-away-sir fascism, capitalist greed or anything remotely related to politics or the super rich.

2. DRAMA: Now, this one is more specific, but was a goal of mine to avoid. What I mean by drama is shit like typical “relationship” drama; as in family tension, best friends fighting over a girl, couples fighting over attention, social ranks arguing over who’s right and wrong. These type of things are all generic, everyday, mundane, fucking imbecilic bullshit that writers throw into stories to either act as fillers to kill time, or to “connect” on an emotional level with their readers/viewers. Connecting emotionally is not a bad thing…but when they use the same goddamn bullshit over, and over, and over again it’s just a severe lack of imagination and a waist of time. I was sure not to expend any energy on these types of generic fillers and stick with what actually mattered.

3. ROMEROS: (I’ve heard that term used before to describe typical, brain-dead, shuffling zombies and thought it nailed my point). Not to knock a classic, but the Romero zombie is the most widely used version of the living dead, so I decided to switch it up in all possible aspects. My mythos is entirely my own. My zombies talk. They run. They laugh. They plot, scheme, terrorize, have powers gifted to them through blood magic, do not die when shot in the head, do not turn you with a bite. This is not a disease. This is magic. Fantasy. A twist that has, of course, been done, but seldom to the extent I’m taking it throughout the course of the books. Book One is only the tip of the bloody dagger, my friends. And there are a lot more than zombies running around to contend with in the future of this saga.

4. RELIGION: Ironically enough, considering one of the main characters is an “ex man of the cloth” and the premise of the whole zombie caboodle is a new Hell on Earth, I did my damnedest to leave religion out of it. I wanted to avoid anything that’s been overly used in the genre so there is no religious nut preaching the Word, or references to Satan and the bible’s version of the Apocalypse. I created my own goddamn devil, for shit’s sake, just so I could avoid the one everyone else is going on about. As I said in #3, this mythos is entirely my own, from the bottom up. The only thing borrowed is some of the obvious concepts such as heaven and hell, zombies and demons. But the rest I developed from scratch. 

5. AWESOME: Wait, what…? YES…you will not find that fucking word used a single time in my novel. It is disgustingly overused in marketing, dialog and (I know I’m calling out the entire planet here but…) in every day exchanges. This goddamn word haunts me at every flick of the station, every casual conversation, every episode or contemporary story. It is a “safe” word (not to be confused with a “safe-word”) that is put in place of a more creative or “vulgar” one to express excitement. It’s what we say to little kids because we’re not comfortable blurting out “that’s fucking badass, little dude, yeah!”. Sure, there is a time and place for that word, but it is NOT in a goddamn zombie novel. 

So these are a few (of many) of the things I did differently to be sure my zombie story was unlike any other. To learn more about the book and how you can get your limited-to-500 Pure Art edition (signed by moi), slide on over to BloodMagik.com and poke around a bit. Check out the “Take A Taste link to sample the prologue, or the Our Story” link to read more about my philosophy behind creating it. For the ebook (for a limited time) use codeword GoPriestsGo to get the download for a price of YOUR CHOOSING. And, don’t worry, I’m really eager to get this out to as many people as possible so it is PERFECTLY OK TO ONLY PAY A PENNY. This is the first book in (hopefully) a saga, so I’m more than willing to give it away for practically free. The more people who read it the better. If you like what you’ve read here, please REBLOG.  And, as always, thanks for being a part of the New Hell, my ornery zomfolks.

GET BIT!!! -z/cm

z0mbi3-s0krat3s: Built Ashy Slashy a home out …

z0mbi3-s0krat3s:

Built Ashy Slashy a home out of the limited-to-500 collectible Pure Art edition of my zombie novel. Support Ash’s cost of living here –> Blood Magik <– by getting your signed copy while it’s still discounted for friends and followers (gonna have to charge full price for the little fucker when I start using paid adds). Also, the ebook is now available! Use discount code WOOF to get the download for half off! -z 

The Cabin in the New Hell. Heh. -z

Monster Movie edition! =D Kinda dig the concep…

Monster Movie edition! =D Kinda dig the concept. Maybe I’ll do something like this for the second printing.

The First Print, however, is officially up on –> Amazon <– so, if that’s your thing, get yours before the sky boils with blood and rains apocalyptic death across the continent and beyond!

Blood Magik: A Cold Day In Hell is festering in an online shopping cart near you! (But is festering for significantly less on my web site and ebay. Jus’ sayin’ =/ ) -z Oh, and if you choose ebay, the links takes you to it but if you happen to search for it later by title, don’t buy from the listing that says “sponsored”. They charge me extra for that one… Zanks! =D )

Going through the haul, separating the pristin…

Going through the haul, separating the pristine copies from the the “eh” and the “😬” ones… Turns out nearly half of them have some streaks across the back that look like someone in that sweat shop across seas had them harnessed to a heard of school kids and dragged across the warehouse. Probably not a big deal to most bookworms but, as a comic geek I’m all about the condition my collectibles are in, so heads up: the cleanest copies of this limited edition will be going out first!

And another undead “zanks!” goes out to @freaky-zombie-chick for being tumblrer #3 to support the disease that is me and get herself a signed copy. 

Get yours –> HERE <–  if you have paypal or on my –> ebay <– account while this limited edition is still on sale! -z