Two baked beans bumbling through the holidays find themselves bong-deep in bodies. But no amount of blunt smoke can make this problem bury itself…
My latest attempt at an Add Campaign headline with only two characters to spare. Trying to sell your novel in under 150 characters (or whatever it was) is a bitch. At least, trying to use those characters to display its uniqueness is. Alliteration can be obnoxious, but I’ve always found it to have a ring. We’ll see if this one does any better than the last.
And, as always, get your signed copy from –> BloodMagik.com <– I marked it down to half-price for the off-season so now’s the time to buy! And, if and when you discovered you loved it, please take a few minutes to review it on your favorite book site. (Them reviews is hard to come by…) Thanks, peeps. Oh, and to sample the book, just go to Amazon and “take a look inside.” (but buy it from my site; Amazon gets enough of my profits as it is) -z/cm
After-Xmas Bargain Buy! Both 6 x 9 Paperbacks for one killer price! (So exciting! 🤓) Get both copies signed on BloodMagik.comfor a measly 24 beans! (Sale ends on 1/1/19)
Synopsis for A Christmas Carcassing: In Shawn & Marv’s Holiday Horrors (Book One), two toasted teens find themselves immersed in the festive corpses of Christmas mall workers without a clue to who’s leaving them behind. With only one Santa left alive in town, can these two leaf-brained suburbanites piece together who’s tearing the holidays apart in time to save Christmas? Comedy and carnage collide in this comedic -insert arbitrary C-word here-
Synopsis for Blood Magik: A Cold Day in Hell: Undead hockey jocks. An eight-foot-tall, soul-hording demon wolf. A near-immortal witch with sights set on ruling her New Hell on Earth. And a squad of unlucky chum in apocalyptic waters all collide under blood-clouds for a morbidly wicked adventure staring a beast, a beauty, and an old guy. Blood Magik is the sports-themed d-day no one dared asked for. Readers, be warned: This book bites.
Now why didn’t I think of a man-eating Xmas tree for the finale in my horror novel? 🤔 Regardless, THE BOOK IS NOW AVAILABLE!! Your new favorite soon-to-be cult classic Christmas horror, stoner comedy is officially funking-up the listings on Amazon with its excess of sticky greens and morbid reds! The brutaltastic tree, on the other hand, you gotta talk to @sivart6 on insta to get your hands on. For a signed copy of the novel, dm me and I’ll put you on a list. Otherwise, order yours now on Amazon 🎅⛄🚬💊🚬👹
Got my “not for resale” proofs in today and all signs point to go!
YOUR NEW FAVORITE HOLIDAY HORROR NOVEL IS OFFICIALLY MURDERING A SANTA NEAR YOU! A Christmas Carcassingis live and morbidly awaiting your thirsty eyes! A gory, stoner comedy unlike any other, this one needs to be read (or possibly smoked) to be believed!
BUT...if you want a signed copy from me it’ll have to wait till I get my author copies in (then you’d get it from Bloodmagik.com). I ordered a batch to push at signings and such, but it can take anywhere from a week to a month to get the fuckers in. The ebook is on Amazon, tho, too, if that’s your thing, so swoop that up if you’re a feisty eager beaver and in the mood for a fun, but dark Christmas adventure. Regardless, thanks for the support, kids, and for putting up with the book-spam to come this holiday season. 🎅😁🤘 -cm/z
These are fucking great, man 😆 And, although I’m currently as sober as a goat (12 years strong), I AM currently scripting a #stoner themed Christmas/horror comedy novel that these fit like a tart in a tootoo (lolol sometimes word play just does it’s own thing and I’m just as much a victim of it as everyone who has to read it).
…was the opening line in a new chapter of A Christmas Carcassing – my stoner-themed horror/comedy novel. I’m not gonna lie… There are some elements of getting thoroughly lit that I miss. But when I do something, I really fucking do it, so me and Mary J just don’t make for functional fuck buddies these days. Sober 12 years now and am damn stoked about it. I know I couldn’t get half the shit done I do if I was drunk or high and I hardly do a damn thing so…yeah…. It’s fun to indulge in the user in me, tho, through creative writing. I get to share my experiences through fictional characters and have all new ones through them. This story has been a blast to write because I’ve got to put these two kids through all kinds of drug addled days and nights and have never once woke up with a hangover. Heh. There are definite benefits to being a “square”. It doesn’t make you happy or solve all your problems, but it gets rid of those you had that were caused by getting too damn blitzed to care.
Heads up, Christmas carolers! It’s gonna be a bloody one this holiday season! Not sure if you caught the post I shared from my main blog, but that’s what this one is for! =D So I started working on a goofy Christmas horror story last month, hoping to be able to put it out by the 25th, but it’s a lofty goal and it may do me better to wait ‘til next season, but I’m still pushing for this one. I just got the cover art back today and it’s fucking perfect for the silly, bloody, morbid tone of the novel. This is a teaser for you guys (the book’s back cover) and a taste of the story’s concept. The book is called A Christmas Carcassing and I’m about half way though with it. This shit has been a blast. It’s totally stoner-flavored (as you can see) with a couple of African-American gamer kids as my main peeps who’re entangled in seasonal gore by no choice of their own, trudging though it all while trying to hide the blood all over their frosted kicks!
Stay connected for more updates and when and where the novel will be released. I was planning on putting it on Amazon this Christmas, but if I don’t make it I’ll have time to build my own inventory and skip over the corporate sleaze bags who’d make more money than me off my own work, so we’ll see. It’d be some sort of Christmas miracle to get this bitch out this year, but you never know. I’m surprised at how fast I’ve gotten through it so far. So share this post if you’re digging it and keep you fingers crossed that I can get it done sooner rather than later.