Thought this morbid little xmas concoction was appropriate. XD
Ok, so, this sexy little sleaze of a novel is unofficially 257 pages, which bodes nicely for a self-published book to be on the thinner side (much cheaper to put into print). I just finished another run-through of it to dot my eyes and cross my peas and this shit is looking pretty fresh. I kinda did a no-no by adding something in that is definitely illegal, so I’m gonna look into getting permission to keep it (being intentionally vague, here, to not give away any of the plot twist). If I can get permission: sweeeet. If not: ain’t no thang; easily remedied. It won’t hurt the story to change it into something that legal. But while I’m looking into that I gotta track down some freelancer to format the fucker for me and get it print-ready for Christmas. I’ll probably eventually pitch it to an agent when I find one, but I don’t see why I can’t self-publish it in the meantime. So we’re one step closer tonight to getting ‘er done. I can’t wait to have a hard copy of it stinking up a shelf in my home.
Body mod in the “motherland” is getting a little extreme 0.0 (Calling “China” the motherland as a homage to Jack Burton in Big Trouble in Little China) -z
More cover art done for that comic series I can’t track down (for less than $30 an issue because of the international shipping… ) Beautifully gruesome shit, tho. Really want to own…
…for my Christmas horror/comedy, A Christmas Carcassing… So let’s see a show of hands. How many people have trouble reading this:
Sullen and morose,
unnerved by what wretched reality had made them its own, the two hapless screw-overs
gawked in a daze at what would push most into a spiraling, cataclysmic meltdown
wrought with projectile juices from any number of effusing orifices.
snowman of frosty repugnance – six human arms atop six legs, like two spiders
humping – sat waiting for the two teens to turn up in Marvin’s backyard… And
Marvin, numb from the icy morbidity that’d become his life, couldn’t help but
think the snowy death shrine awaiting them was somehow fashioned playfully;
scampish in its revulsiveness…
Ehh? Smooth reading or wordy and confusing? Add your two-cents in the comments. Thanks. \m/ -z
The top 5 things you will NOT FIND in my zombie novel:
1. CORPORATISM: There are no businesses, cooperate superpowers, cooperate lackeys, yes-sir/no-sir, right-away-sir fascism, capitalist greed or anything remotely related to politics or the super rich.
2. DRAMA: Now, this one is more specific, but was a goal of mine to avoid. What I mean by drama is shit like typical “relationship” drama; as in family tension, best friends fighting over a girl, couples fighting over attention, social ranks arguing over who’s right and wrong. These type of things are all generic, everyday, mundane, fucking imbecilic bullshit that writers throw into stories to either act as fillers to kill time, or to “connect” on an emotional level with their readers/viewers. Connecting emotionally is not a bad thing…but when they use the same goddamn bullshit over, and over, and over again it’s just a severe lack of imagination and a waist of time. I was sure not to expend any energy on these types of generic fillers and stick with what actually mattered.
3. ROMEROS: (I’ve heard that term used before to describe typical, brain-dead, shuffling zombies and thought it nailed my point). Not to knock a classic, but the Romero zombie is the most widely used version of the living dead, so I decided to switch it up in all possible aspects. My mythos is entirely my own. My zombies talk. They run. They laugh. They plot, scheme, terrorize, have powers gifted to them through blood magic, do not die when shot in the head, do not turn you with a bite. This is not a disease. This is magic. Fantasy. A twist that has, of course, been done, but seldom to the extent I’m taking it throughout the course of the books. Book One is only the tip of the bloody dagger, my friends. And there are a lot more than zombies running around to contend with in the future of this saga.
4. RELIGION: Ironically enough, considering one of the main characters is an “ex man of the cloth” and the premise of the whole zombie caboodle is a new Hell on Earth, I did my damnedest to leave religion out of it. I wanted to avoid anything that’s been overly used in the genre so there is no religious nut preaching the Word, or references to Satan and the bible’s version of the Apocalypse. I created my own goddamn devil, for shit’s sake, just so I could avoid the one everyone else is going on about. As I said in #3, this mythos is entirely my own, from the bottom up. The only thing borrowed is some of the obvious concepts such as heaven and hell, zombies and demons. But the rest I developed from scratch.
5. AWESOME: Wait, what…? YES…you will not find that fucking word used a single time in my novel. It is disgustingly overused in marketing, dialog and (I know I’m calling out the entire planet here but…) in every day exchanges. This goddamn word haunts me at every flick of the station, every casual conversation, every episode or contemporary story. It is a “safe” word (not to be confused with a “safe-word”) that is put in place of a more creative or “vulgar” one to express excitement. It’s what we say to little kids because we’re not comfortable blurting out “that’s fucking badass, little dude, yeah!”. Sure, there is a time and place for that word, but it is NOT in a goddamn zombie novel.
So these are a few (of many) of the things I did differently to be sure my zombie story was unlike any other. To learn more about the book and how you can get your limited-to-500 Pure Art edition (signed by moi), slide on over to BloodMagik.com and poke around a bit. Check out the “Take A Taste” link to sample the prologue, or the “Our Story” link to read more about my philosophy behind creating it. For the ebook (for a limited time) use codeword GoPriestsGo to get the download for a price of YOUR CHOOSING. And, don’t worry, I’m really eager to get this out to as many people as possible so it is PERFECTLY OK TO ONLY PAY A PENNY. This is the first book in (hopefully) a saga, so I’m more than willing to give it away for practically free. The more people who read it the better. If you like what you’ve read here, please REBLOG. And, as always, thanks for being a part of the New Hell, my ornery zomfolks.
GET BIT!!! -z/cm