Two baked beans bumbling through the holidays find themselves bong-deep in bodies. But no amount of blunt smoke can make this problem bury itself…
My latest attempt at an Add Campaign headline with only two characters to spare. Trying to sell your novel in under 150 characters (or whatever it was) is a bitch. At least, trying to use those characters to display its uniqueness is. Alliteration can be obnoxious, but I’ve always found it to have a ring. We’ll see if this one does any better than the last.
And, as always, get your signed copy from –> BloodMagik.com <– I marked it down to half-price for the off-season so now’s the time to buy! And, if and when you discovered you loved it, please take a few minutes to review it on your favorite book site. (Them reviews is hard to come by…) Thanks, peeps. Oh, and to sample the book, just go to Amazon and “take a look inside.” (but buy it from my site; Amazon gets enough of my profits as it is) -z/cm
Excerpt from Book Two, Blood Magik: The Reigning Dead–
The valiant convoy of zombie Priests and their diehard, human affiliates coasted south along the desolate 405 freeway for what felt like hours with Marty leading the pack, him never once wavering in the quest to recover his sister. Wet blood from the demon mists moistened his dead-eyes and accumulated like tears at their corners; the wind blowing by his face pushed droplets across his temples resembling ritual markings drawn before a battle. The Coach’s Chevy War-Machine and his trailer of undead in-tow followed steadily behind, with Terry (who’d regained the driver’s seat) and his dead-infested surf-racks keeping a close pace. They were about a mile out when the bombs dropped and the hell-wall took to the skies. The flames barreled across the freeway in front of them, cutting them off from their destination and generally shocking the shit out of those who were still capable of surprise.
Getting my edit on, cleaning up the manuscript and trying to get this novel I wrote nearly 6 years ago up to par with what I write today. It ain’t easy… I seriously had no idea what I was doing, but I’m getting her done. Visit Bloodmagik.com to get a signed copy of the first book, A Cold Day in Hell or download the ebook for free on Smashwords.com. Follow my journey as a writer and experience the power of Learning by Sucking Ass Until You Get It That Shit Right 🤘😎🤘 -z/cm
“I love the smell of a coward’s insides in the morning!” Cayman, the second largest Hound in the New Hell, had his bulky forearm tight around a soldier’s neck. Reaching over his chest, he punched through the man’s stomach to finger at his spilling bowels like digging through a cooler for a cold beverage. “Smells like eggs and demise!” He took a bite out of his handful while rapid gunfire and chaos reigned around him.
Trying to get a little editing done whil in the Urgent Care waiting room. Pinched an all-too-familiar nerve in my trap this morning and can barely fucking move 😬😬😬 Hopefully it clears up before the San Diego comic fest next week. 🤞
They were fast approaching that place in the sky, and the cracked air ahead showed signs of at least three more black-beaked things threatening to bleed through. They drove passed the jagged, electric vein just in time to look back to see the winged eyesores meet the wind in flight. The sight of the trio of creatures flying freely into their world was just odd enough to distract them from the more truly peculiar site below, as both halves of the dead one bubbled and sifted while re-growing its missing sides and, in effect, became two. It wasn’t long before the reanimating fowls, with their hissing snake-tongues, found their footing and pushed off the city street in search of their first civilized meal.
“Did you smell that?” Mac scrunched his nose at the passing, sulfuric and gaseous odor leaking into their world.
It was a suffocating aroma, even for the undead. Bobby realized he innately knew where the scent had come from. “Hell,” he declared with an uncharacteristically blank stare. “…It’s getting closer.”
Get my editing on for Book Two in the saga, putting in work while on the treadmill at the gym. Get in on Book One now with the limited Pure #Art collector’s edition on Bloodmagik.com 💀☠🧟♂️
1228 words this morning, written into my goofy vampire comedy/adventure. That’s some pretty solid work for me, my dudes. A lot of writers can do three, four times that per sesh, easy, but not I, my friends. I take too much damn time on the words themselves. It’s part of what I like about writing: the art of the craft. Usually I don’t get much over 800 in at a time before I gotta take a step back and organize the next scene in my head. But it’s a very “soft” organization; no heavy outlines or specifics, just vague ideas and directions. I’m more of a “by the seat of my pants” kind of author which I always thought was a disadvantage, but recently have realized it’s a strength. When you go into writing with everything planned out, yeah, you get more done, but your writing is more predictable because you’re artificially pushing your characters and plot in an already decided direction. Whereas with me, even I don’t know what these dudes are gonna do next. It makes for some very spontaneous twists and turns, and for a lot of fun writing, as well as reading.
But, anyway, I cooked up this image above in photoshop for fun. It sorta depicts the dream my main dude has that opens the story and sets the stage for the underlying mystery of the plot. I uploaded the prologue and the first chap to my newly christened Wattpad account (that I really need to put more work into to get anyone to notice it…) so if you’re a user, or are just curious about the story, look up corwynmatthewon it (download the app first if you don’t have it already, or just click the ^ link ^ and go to the website) and let me know what you think. Indulge in the awkwardness of a chubby, pacifist vamp who really has no idea what his life choices will soon be getting him into. \m/ -z/cm
I think I finished off Chapter 49 in the BM saga tonight. Book One ends at Chapter 22.5 (The Bathroom Blues), Book Two picks up at Chapter 23 (which is not yet available), and Book Three, which I’m calling (for now) Blood Magik: A Living Hell in L.A., starts at 38.5. I decided on the running numbers because the story never really stops. It’s not like a series. It really is all one story and, maybe long after its all said and done, will be printed up as some titanic, 2,500 page omnibus that might be better sold as a stepping stool for us short folk to reach the top shelf than as a novel. (In that it’d be thick as fuck, not that that’s all it would be good for. Although, metaphorically speaking…kind of a cool concept considering it’s what might give me that “step up” in my career by the end of it.) Anyway, I’m not sure if anyone has ever done the running numbers before. Let me know if you know of a saga or series of books that has. And, as always…
Ok, so, the geniuses who printed the book with the (more expensive) soft-touch lamination
didn’t know what the fuck they were doing and scraped the backs of about 100 copies of my (ideally) gorgeous Pure Art edition. Really frustrating stuff considering I specifically designed this edition to be aesthetically badass, making it a collectible not just in number (limited to 500 copies) but in design. They apologized for their lack of competence, of course, and gave a partial refund so I can now afford to sell these copies for much cheaper than the original $24 list price. I just set up the listing on my website to let these marginally damaged copies go for a measly $9.99 a piece so if you’re like me, a bargain shopper, now’s your chance at owning a signed copy of my first ever published work, and in its collectible edition, for less than half its price. The book will still come signed, but not inscribed, and the least damaged ones will go out first. All are 100% readable and still a part of the original, limited-to-500 print-run. Dig in, my dudes. This buy is one for our times (cheap and shoddy, heh.) -cm/z
After-Xmas Bargain Buy! Both 6 x 9 Paperbacks for one killer price! (So exciting! 🤓) Get both copies signed on BloodMagik.comfor a measly 24 beans! (Sale ends on 1/1/19)
Synopsis for A Christmas Carcassing: In Shawn & Marv’s Holiday Horrors (Book One), two toasted teens find themselves immersed in the festive corpses of Christmas mall workers without a clue to who’s leaving them behind. With only one Santa left alive in town, can these two leaf-brained suburbanites piece together who’s tearing the holidays apart in time to save Christmas? Comedy and carnage collide in this comedic -insert arbitrary C-word here-
Synopsis for Blood Magik: A Cold Day in Hell: Undead hockey jocks. An eight-foot-tall, soul-hording demon wolf. A near-immortal witch with sights set on ruling her New Hell on Earth. And a squad of unlucky chum in apocalyptic waters all collide under blood-clouds for a morbidly wicked adventure staring a beast, a beauty, and an old guy. Blood Magik is the sports-themed d-day no one dared asked for. Readers, be warned: This book bites.