Category: book club

Threw these images together for fun. Probably overkill since I plan on (lightly) bashing the book, but what the hell. 

Star Wars death Troopers; A Book Review:

 Ok, so, to be fair, I fell for the concept and the cover art and bought the damn thing before I took a look inside at the writing. I really try not to do that since I’m so damn picky about prose. This being the case, I’ll chalk this one up to a “my bad” and not dig too deep into the writing itself. I will say that it wasn’t bad; it just didn’t do anything for me.

BUT…before I let Mr. Schrieber slide, I gotta just say… Star Wars stories without the Jedi are like going to a stake house and only getting to eat coleslaw and potatoes. Sure the sides are great; nice and thick and seasoned well with that classic scifi sauce we grew up loving, but, dude…WERE’S THE MEAT?!?! You get the opportunity to write a Star Wars zombie story and you don’t think to have walking corpses cut to ribbons by light sabers? I mean, I figured that much was a given. Personally I would’ve had zombie Jedi AND Sith raining hell across the plot together as a goal and worked my way to it and through it, buuuuut not even a single sniff of the Force was present. I suppose it’s possible that he (the writer) had his hands tied by the folks who held the rights, and, in that case: I feel your pain, bruh. But in any other case it’s just a severe lack of imagination to tell this story as is. And, for a zombie horror tale, there wasn’t much horror – more suspense. I prefer the actual gore to running away from the possibility of it, but that’s just me. I’ll give it a couple of stars for the touch of gore it did have and for at least having Han Solo show up to add a some familiarity, but the rest of the characters didn’t speak to me at all; not a single one. I reeeeally wanted to like this novel… I even continue to read the whole thing despite not liking the prose. But…here we are. I will say, though, that if you’re an average reader and fanboy or girl, you’ll probably love it. I’m just not that guy.

Star Wars death Trooper sculpture by @benfranklinzombies on insta and the spacey background was from Joran-Belar

Do you believe in karma? Do you think that if you simply live your life in accordance with a respectable moral code you’ll be rewarded with random good fortune?

Tattered clothing and skin from fighting through the wicked brush garnish your hopeful soul like a blanket of naivety. Spores of paranoia hover in the dusk that stifles your lungs when you breathe, writhing fear and uncertainty coiling around your naked feet in the forms of shrieking arthropods with infinite brittle legs and pinchers…

Then you see it… This yawning salvation – a welcoming soft, warm glow to finally answer your prayers…

Do you think to yourself, “I knew this day would come!”? Do you muster up the strength you’d been saving for this moment and sprint clumsily toward your escape – the escape that’s been miraculously handed to you, just as you always knew you deserved?

If you do, you’re a fool. A simpering joke all the universe is laughing at.

That’s not the way out, you pathetic victim. That’s the mouth of the beast your stupidity feeds.

You’re hardly a morsel compared to its hunger. You’re a stale breath mint that does nothing but quell its apatite for a fleeting instant. Your pain and suffering did not earn you a clear path to bliss. It earned you a fool’s dream of salvation that bought your ticket to Hell.

Karma does indeed exist…and it has delivered to you exactly what you deserve:

A Fool’s Dream.

by -z

Art: Its not too late by kevron2001


Built Ashy Slashy a home out of the limited-to-500 collectible Pure Art edition of my zombie novel. Support Ash’s cost of living here –> Blood Magik <– by getting your signed copy while it’s still discounted for friends and followers (gonna have to charge full price for the little fucker when I start using paid adds). Also, the ebook is now available! Use discount code WOOF to get the download for half off! -z 

The Cabin in the New Hell. Heh. -z