1094 words…



So I laid down some solid progress on The Adventures of Dick & Rob today. It may have cost me a damn headache to do so, but its not so bad that I regret getting shit done. Laughed my ass off with one little scene I pieced together, and chuckled a bundle at another, splitting the workload today between two sit-downs; one in the morn, the other just now. One thing that I’m doing differently (for me) in this silly, scifi P.I. novel is making it “clean”, as in, “no foul language”. -insert shocked emoji here-

So here’s my thing: I’m vulgar as fuck. It just amuses me to be so (hence my social media preference being tumblr). A lot of writers are uncomfortable letting loose with the dirty verbs and will even go so far as to say they are unnecessary and even detrimental to good writing.

I entirely disagree.

I used to think that maybe I was just a little rough around the edges (which I am) and “uncultured” (along with undereducated) so preferred a similar tone in writing, but then it hit me–

Holding back what is a part of our everyday language and society and culture is not only inhibited but inauthentic.

EVERYONE FUCKING CUSSES. (With some exceptions, of course, as is there in all things.)

So when I read a writer’s dialog who omits any swears, it reads to me as fake and afraid and antiquated. It’s just not how people talk or think.

Granted, swearing in the narration isn’t at all necessary, but to me it shows confidence and courage; balls.

As hetero as I am…I like balls. Balls make me laugh. Balls are an essential element in creativity and originality. Without balls, or risk, you get shit – watery shit, even. The kind of shit that really fucks up your day (and undergarments) and makes you think twice about what the fuck you had for lunch. Shit stinks, dude. Fuck all that. Grow some balls and cook up something with meat in it – something spicy that might burn a little to the taste but sits nicely in your guts, fermenting and satiating the fuck out of your apatite for something hardy and authentic. 

So, anyway…this being my view of writing, I decided to challenge myself to attempt to write an entire novel without a single swear, but one that still entertains just as much and in an authentic way.

So I cheated.

I created my own goddamn swears that are not considered to be curse words in our society but are common swears in the future world I’ve built. This way my characters can still be entirely authentic AND the book can be comfortably read by all the little softies out there who find REAL TALK offensive. So…

You’re fucking welcome, you pussies. lol

As always, feel free to send asks if you have any questions.

Rock on, fuck-wads. \m/ -cc


My other blog -z ^^