c0ry-c0nvoluted: A few images I came across t…

c0ry-c0nvoluted:

A few images I came across that reminded me of the world I was building for my scifi, Private Investigator comedy, The Adventures of Dick and Rob: The Case of the Rotating Vestibule (a subtitle which, when readers figure out what that actually means, is pretty fucking funny lol) So I’ll probably just use these pics for now when updating you lucky kids on my progress.

But, anyway, I’m going back over what I got so far to reacquaint myself with the dialect I created for the planet Goriol, and it’s variety of inhabitants. I start off just with a few twists in the beginning so to not throw readers off too much, then pick up more as I go, thickening the futuristic dialect. Here’s an excerpt of some dialog from the chap I was just going over (7). Dick is the human PI, Rob is his robot  “Senbian” ( Sentient Biocyberneural Animatronic) partner. They’re looking for their client who’s not answering calls (comms), tracking her back to an eatery she was at before they last saw her. Dick is of a singular mind, on a mission to find her (for reason you’ll eventually (hopefully) read about), but Rob is hanging back a bit (for other esoteric reasons I will not be divulging today (I’m sneaky with the teases, I know =P)). Observe:

Finger to his
temple to activate his memory recall, Dick brought up a tasteful,
fully-materialled image of his client and projected it though his lens as a holo-photo
between him and the parlor’s host.

“I’m kicking for
intel on this woman, called by Ella. She was here several clocks back; ordered
a loaf. …A big one.” The host looked
caught slightly off guard. “The loaf, not the woman…” But on second thought; “Well…”
he probably didn’t need to further clarify… “Just…did you serve her or naught?”

Fish-headed and as
pleasant as a crab, the parlor host pursed her amphibious lips and flapped
several earhole-fins. “Served her, naught.”
Eyes grown from the sides of her narrow head, Dick couldn’t tell if she even
bothered to look at the image. “Order eats now or splash off, snoop.”

Dick suddenly
remembered “intimidation” was not an aptitude he held in abundance. Normally
when he’d start asking questions with Rob shadowing his frame he’d get
responses pouring from stammering orifices faster than he could absorb them.
But with his cyber-muscle currently slinking…he’d
have to play to his own strengths: Empathy.

“Listen… I’d
rather not be a disruption here. I’m not one to jump up someone’s place of
business, but this woman’s light is in danger and she’s not connecting to comms.
Please… Scope close to be certain and lend me a click to get some facts so I
can kick by.” He seemed to be getting through. She wasn’t swatting at him with
any scaly extremities which was likely a sign of her probable cooperation.
“Were you serving around 19 o’clock? 19:30?”

Earholes flapped.
Fish-lips pursed. “Serving, was I naught. Serving, was Gorg.”

“Ohsay, grats. Is
he—”

She…” Flap. Purse.

“Sorry… Is she
still on?”

“On naught. Gorg kicked
by ’round 21.”

“Snipes…” He kept
the image up, just to be sure all whose eye he caught glimpsed it while he
could. Turning from the host, he figured he should expand his investigation
while having a cookery full of attention. “This woman,” he addressed the
diverse crowd, “may be missing and at immediate risk. If you know of her,
please speak so. You would be aiding in protecting her light and furthering my
case.”

No hearsay was
extended.

……………….

So my question for you all is: How lost were you on the dialog? Is it difficult to follow with words that are slightly scrambled? This is a little later in the novel so you get more of a chance to build up to it at this point, but I was just curious as to how you’d float if I just pushed you in here. Thoughts? 

My not-so-horror account and the other novel I’m working on. ^^ \m/ -z