Went looking for seasonal inspiration for the Christmas story I’m working on and found this festive, green gem on the racks. Nailed it! =D I got the fun idea to try to squeeze out a fresh, yule time horror classic for the freaks like me and thought that maybe I could get it done (in full, including uploaded to createspace (Amazon)) by Christmas. The chances of that are about as good as me meeting up with the the stud on my shirt for pancakes and crapes, especially while battling these fucking migraines (which is why I haven’t been blogging much the past 3 months). But at least it gives me something to do while I’m stuck at home most of the time.
The story is based around a couple of somewhat oddball, stoner teens – small town kids who’re urban in dialect and flavor, or in other words, black. It dawned on me how few white writers have the balls to write black characters as main characters who actually talk like most African-Americans do (unless they’re doing some historical piece or something). Sure, there’ll be a token black character in most story lines, but if he/she actually acts “black” then it’s usually comedy relief.
I adopted the hip-hop culture in my early teens and all the general “swag” that came with it, which made it pretty difficult as a young adult to communicate with average white adults (still is, to be honest). When you speak with an urban accent you’re immediately labeled as ignorant and/or fake/poser, which can be worse. Wait… I’m getting off topic here… The point is, I have a lot of experience with urban or “hip-hop” dialog and there’s not a lot of use for it in novel writing, so when I was brainstorming on characters I thought, “Yoooo! Why not make one of my dudes black?” Then: “Wait… That’s what every ‘non-black’ writer does to seem ‘progressive’… Why not make the majority of the main characters black? Boom!”
You see, the reason us “scurry-ass” white folk typically don’t is that we’re terrified that some angry black woman is gonna jump up and yell out “Oh hellll, nah! Who you think you is, white boy?! Thinkin’ you can speak for us black folk like you know a thing about livin’ yo’ life bein’ a person of color… Pshh!” lol Or, even more likely “I’m am just so appalled and enraged by this. What does this…man…think? That all black people speak without pronouncing their g’s? That none of us have ever made it through grade school? I’ll have you know…” lolol Which, to be honest, is a definite possibility. But it doesn’t scare me. I’m too sharp to fall for that silly bullshit. Most people who cry out shit like that are just looking to try to make themselves out to be heroes when really they’re just perpetuating their own brand of ignorance fueled by shit they’ve seen on fucking soaps. Number one: this is fiction. It’s no different than me writing a story that takes place in the 1500′s, as far as whether or not I have the “right” because I have or have not walked in their shoes. Number two: Don’t be fucking stupid. That’s just a pathetic argument in attempt for attention. lol Number three: Being someone who is white but elected to represent a fashion and lifestyle that was predominately ruled by blacks and other minorities, while not being the “ignorant poser” or “violent cliché” I was commonly misjudged as, I really do know what it’s like for people to look at you like you’re trying to snatch their bag or stick them for their wallet when you would sooner jump in front of a bullet for them despite the fact they don’t deserve it. Shit… Off topic again. lol
The point is, I’m having a lot of fun getting to unleash the hip-hop flavored beast in me, while still toning it down to stay true to the characters. I wanna Try to make this bloodied up holiday bonanza a goofy stoner comedy that walks the line between witty and skillful wordplay and downright ridiculous Christmas gore. So, fans of Christmas horror, keep your fingers crossed I can pull this shit off in time to make it available by Dec. 25th. I guess if it’s a few days late, that would be fine too, but, either way, get hype, people! Especially those of you out there who are a little like me and have some hip to there hop but never get any of that in the stories you read. This isn’t (well, still undecided…but…) necessarily gonna have any hip-hop in it, but the dialog is urbanesque (is that a word? …It is now…). It’ll be a breath of icy and copper wind with a minty bite that’ll pep you right up. So look alive, soldiers! Death is gonna be gift wrapped this year, and it might have your handle on the tag. \m/
Oh, and in case you miss any further posts concerning the story, it’s gonna be called A Christmas Caracassing. If you’re into to dark, bloody humor, you’re gonna love it. -cc
(updated the pic with a cool background called Shelled_layers_by_Worlockmolly. Prologue and first chap in the story nearly done. Head still hurts but trying to stay productive. Soldiering on.)
Well, it isn’t everything I’d hoped for; it’s more of a sweatshirt than a sweater… But it’s Christmas-horror themed – and Evil Dead, no less – so I’m cool with it. More inspiration to fuel the fire. I’ve really gotten in to the whole Xmas spirit this year (decoratively): bought a little tree for my room with some lights and shit, and I turn ‘em on anytime I go to get down on the new novel; a novel that was originally intended to be more of a short story…but you know how that goes. The good news is, despite the shit-storm of headaches and beyond I’ve gone through the past four months I’ve been able to be steadily productive on most days. I’m nearly halfway through the story and having a hell of a good time writing it. The bad news is I’d have to write beyond my gross capacity for productivity to get the fucker done by Christmas… I’m not giving up on that goal, but it’s not looking very likely. And since the whole caboodle is Christmas themed, it may do better for me to sit on the bitch ‘til next year. But I did order the cover design to be done in time just in case and I’d love to put if out by Christmas regardless. I can always just wait ‘til next season to do any marketing on it but still have it floating around at the end of this year for those who are directly connected to my blogs. So keep your eyes peeled for a Christmas fucking miracle, my fellow followers. This one’s a whole hell of a lot of fun. If things pick up and I get “on track” then I’ll probably throw out the prologue for you kids to mull over. And, just for the hell of it, here’s the “back cover copy” or “blurb” I did for it to give you an idea of what you’d be getting into. Let me know how it does you. Thanks. -cc
It’s beginning to look a lot like, Holy-bleeding-balls-of-Ol’-St.Nick-what-the-$#!&-is-going-on?!!
Shawn and Marvin want what any teenage boys want: dank weed,
fresh PS4 games, and the occasional lady-parts to brush up against after class.
But this Christmas season someone
screwed the pooch on checking their lists and delivered all the right parts to
all the wrong places.
When two entirely toasted young gamers find themselves up to
their blunts in bodies and Christmas gore, the smart money’s on cleaning up the
melee and conspicuously going about their day. Stumbling through their winter
break, smoking away all their bloody troubles, these two baked beans have no
choice but to grin and bear the morbid reality they find themselves in and hope
they make it to Christmas morning without looking at a lifelong sentence wrapped
in a maximum-security ward.
So, slip into your galoshes and weather wary attire! This
holiday season is going to leave you sopping in reds and buried in greens!
Smoke, dispose, retreat, repeat!
A Christmas Carcassing
is brutalizing a small town near you!
My other blog ^^ -z